Of Beer Tours, Brothers and Microwaves
by ErinM
Summary: To stay sane, April O'Neill doesn't take vacations. Crossover with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. post-TMNT III; after Season 5 for SG-1


**Title:** Of Beer Tours, Brothers and Microwaves  
**Author:** Erin  
**Characters:** April, Jack, Sara, Howard, Daniel and Sara's father (mention of Casey, Sam, Orlin, turtles and a rat)  
**Rating:** PG  
**Summary:** To stay sane, April O'Neill doesn't take vacations.  
**Warning:** post-_Turtles III_ (but Judith Hoag-April ;); _SG-1_ - Season 5/post-Ascension but pre-Meridian points to characters **Bolded** text is the other half of the phone conversation. All action is on April's side. Except for Casey, because no one's seen him... kinda.  
**Disclaimer:** _Stargate SG-1_ and all it's bits and pieces belong to the folks at Gekko, Showtime and Sci-Fi. _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_ belongs to Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird, New Line Cinema and Jim Henson Productions.

And, YES: April's last name is **O'Neil** - as is Jack's which is kinda how this bunny got started - but for the sake of Daniel, Carter and Orlin, we're going with O'Neill.

"April." Rolling her eyes slightly before looking up, April found Howard leaning into the doorway of her office.

"Howard?" He had that look on his face.

"Clear you schedule," he demanded. "You're going to the broadcaster's conference in Denver." April reared back and gave him an 'I don't think so' look.

"Why would I-" she asked incredulously, staring at a spot on the far wall. "I thought you were sending the interns?" Howard stepped in and put his hands up semi-defensively.

"April... I'm not asking." She raised an eyebrow at him, knowing that if this came down to a staring contest, she's win. His shoulders fell and he sighed, stepping into the office and adding: "They're telling."

April blinked and glanced at the report she'd been reading when Howard had knocked on her door frame. "Look," he said, moving to the chair just opposite her. He leaned in, as if what he was about to say was some big secret. "Get off the plane on Friday. Look at the mountains, breathe some thin air... spend the _entire_ weekend on the Coors tour; I don't care."

April raised an eyebrow and nodded once, pursing her lips. "So..." she drew out. "What you're saying is... go to the conference-" she said, using air quotes. "-but don't actually go to the conference-" she added quotes again and tilted her head slightly.

Howard let out a deep breath and nodded. "Yes. And then everyone will be happy..." he said with the slightest twinge of sarcasm. "The interns can fend for themselves." April didn't concede, but she didn't respond. She hated vacations – only because they tended to get... complicated.

She glanced up, realizing that Howard had stood and moved back to the door. Taking a deep breath, April knew she would regret it, but still called after him. "Howard?" He turned, expecting the worst. April frowned slightly – she couldn't make it easy for him – and nodded. "Tell them I will be on the plane."

She had to hold back the smile as she saw Howard physically restrain himself from performing a victory dance. He nodded and turned, hurrying off to the other end of the newsroom. April looked to the reports on her desk and turned her chair slightly to look out the window over the city.

Glancing back to her phone, April turned back to the desk and reached for the handset.

After the third ring, April heard: **"Huh-low?"**

"Is Sara in?"

**"Yeah, just a-"** She smiled as she heard the man call out and, a moment later, she heard a new voice.

**"Hello?"**

"Sara, it's April."

**"Hey, how's the big city?"**

"Not bad. How's the... little city?" April asked, rolling her eyes at herself.

**"It's okay,"** Sara laughed. **"What's goin' on?"**

"Forced vacation," April groaned into the phone, and she could swear she could hear Sara smiling.

**"Love those. Any place exciting?"**

"Yeah," April said with a smirk. "Denver."

**"Really? For how long?"**

"Just this weekend," April said, flipping through the pages of her report. "Technically, I'm going to a conference-"

**"But not actually going _to_ the conference?"** Sara knew her far too well.

"Actually, I was told to go on a beer tour," April responded with a smile.

**"That's my kind of conference. Well, guest room's yours,"** Sara offered.

"You're not busy?" April asked, not wanting to force Sara's schedule to change.

**"Naw, just another fabulous weekend in the Springs,"** Sara said sarcastically. **"Obviously, you're flying, so-"** Sara mused, trying to run the travel time up to the airport.

"No, I'll rent a car," April said, shaking her head as if Sara would see it.

**"You sure?"**

"Yeah."

**"Okay, well... just give me a call when you're headin' down."**

"See you Friday, then?"

**"It's a date!"**

"Talk to you later," April said with a smile.

**"Bye."** April breathed a laugh as she replaced the handset and took a deep breath before diving back into her report.

--

**"Hello?"**

"Hey, it's me," April said as she shut the back door on the SUV she'd rented.

**"Hey."**

"I'm leaving the airport now," she said as she climbed into the drivers' seat and pulled the seatbelt across her lap.

**"You remember how to get here?"**

"Uh..." April checked the rear-view mirror and glanced over her shoulder anyway. "Mountains are in my rear-view mirror, on the left. Right?"

**"Ha,"** Sara said. **"Hey, have you talked to Jack?"** April blinked and let out a sigh.

"No, actually."

**"Well, if he finds out you were in town... and you didn't at least call and say 'Hi'..."** April rolled her eyes slightly and nodded.

"Yeah, I know... I'll give him a-" April looked up and frowned. "Wait. Do you talk to him?" This was a new development.

**"We've bumped into each other. Grocery store, gas station..."** The hospital. **"The Springs isn't _that_ big."**

April shook her head. "No, I just... I guess I figured you guys for the awkward-wave-from-across-the-street-and-keep-walkin'-type."

**"A couple years ago, we probably would have. But-"** Sara finished the thought with a sigh. It was strange to see Jack – especially after the incident in the hospital – but she still loved him; she just couldn't live with him. **"Call him. Please."**

"I will."

**"Okay. Drive careful. And keep an eye out when you get near the stadiums; twenty-five does a weird ess-thing and, for some reason, people can't comprehend how to follow the road."** April smiled at the comment and pulled out of the parking lot.

"All right, I'll be there in a bit."

**"See ya."**

April decided to give Jack a call once she was on the other side of downtown. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to her brother; she just... didn't want to talk to him about Casey.

--

Jack was standing in Daniel's office – okay, he was leaning – when the phone rang. Daniel didn't even look up from the book he was reading as he moved from the desk to the wall and reached for the handset. "Jackson." His eyes shot up to Jack a second later. "Yeah, he's right here." He nodded to Jack and held out the handset as Jack pushed himself up and took the phone.

"O'Neill. Yeah, put it through." He watched Daniel move back to the desk and spun around toward the door as the base operator transferred the call.

**"Hey, Jack."**

"Hi." Daniel kept looking up from his book, watching Jack fidget while on the phone. "Everything okay?" he asked, glancing over to Daniel, who immediately looked back to his book.

**"Yeah. Look, sorry to bother you at work, but I was just wondering if you were... around, tonight."** Jack could feel Daniel's eyes on the back of his head and spun around again.

"I can be," Jack said in a half-statement, half-question.

**"Well, I was going to invite you to dinner, but... obviously, you haven't checked your messages today, have you?"** Sara asked him a second later. Jack frowned and winced, poking at a spot on the wall.

"I have messages?" Sara laughed.

"**Check your messages and get back to me**," Sara said before hanging up on him. Jack frowned again and hung up the phone. Picking the handset up again, he dialed an outside line and called home.

_**"Hey, big brother, it's April. Of course it is; who else would call and say: 'Hey, big brother'? Um, I'm in town for the weekend and- I'm staying at Sara's and I don't even know if you're in town or not or what you're doing, but... I figured I'd just say: 'Hi.' So... Hi."**_

Jack smiled at the message and even let a small laugh out, which caused Daniel to look up again and Jack hung the phone up again. Daniel looked at his computer as an email notification popped up and heard Jack ask: "When and where?"

--

Sara hadn't told April she'd called Jack, so April was rather surprised when he showed up at the restaurant Sara had "suggested" for dinner. There were hugs, there were kisses; a 'You look good.'; a 'You look thin.'; and one 'God, you look old!'

April was listening to Sara tell a story about one of her coworkers when her phone rang. Jack noticed that his sister tensed as a bad version of 'Kung Fu Fighting' played out and watched as her eyes closed, her jaw clenched and she took a deep breath.

Throwing the both of them an apologetic glance, April frowned and flipped the phone open. "Who did what?" Her eyes went wide and she sat up straight. "Mikey. Mikey, stop. He did _what_?!" Jack and Sara gave each other a glance and looked back to April.

"For how long?" They watched as April twitched and took another deep breath. "Put Donny on the phone," she said sharply. Nodding a few times, April winced and focused on the table's centerpiece. "What part of 'Don't use the popcorn button-' No, a minute five, Donny." Her eyes went wide and she straightened again.

"No. No NO!" she whispered loudly, not wanting to disturb the folks sitting nearby. "Donny, it's a microwave, not a reactor." She opened her mouth a few times, but no sound came out. Cursing to herself, she finally was able to get a word in edgewise.

"Leo. Now." Jack and Sara looked at each other and shared a shrug and April's head dropped into her hand. "Do _not_ let him touch my microwave. I mean it, Leo. You and I both know there is only one number in my speed dial. And if I have to call-" She sighed again and leaned back in her seat.

"I mean it, Leo. If I come home craving a baked potato and it comes out glowing-" she said in that 'I'm too tired to argue about this any more'-tone – the one Jack got from Daniel all the time. "-so help me..." April let her chin drop to her chest momentarily and then looked back up to her water glass.

"Is Raph there?" she asked quietly. Jack wondered just how many people were currently in his sister's apartment. Usually, house-sitting was a job for a single person. "Of course he is," she snapped with an air of sarcasm. "I'm so glad he sees more of my boyfriend than I do." She sighed again and shook her head.

"Tell him I said hi. Yeah." She smiled for a moment, which made Jack smile. "And I mean it, Leo: Do not let him touch the microwave." Jack coughed, as he was trying to hold back a laugh. "Goodbye," she said with a forced smile, as if Leo could see it.

"And they wonder why Raph is my favorite," she muttered, tossing her phone onto the table. Jack leaned on the table and pointed to April.

"I should introduce you to Carter. She lost a toaster that way. Kinda," he added with a raised eyebrow. Granted, Orlin used it to build a Stargate in her basement, not make popcorn. He shook his head to clear the thought and smirked.

"So, tell me about this 'boyfriend.'" April sighed and rolled her eyes.

_'Aw, crap...'_


End file.
